Grays and Whites
by anonymousme11
Summary: All he wanted was to hear that voice say his name again.


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the dreams of a fangirl_  


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Why do you lie there?_

My eyes turn cold in fury as I continue to stare at your prone form.

_Why do you pose as helpless?_

The passing winds cut at my graying skin. In this infernal place, I am bound to stay until you wake up.

_Are you asleep?_

Its beautiful, this place so barren and so completely pure. Nothing but the gray sky and leafless tree I stand under to break the monotonous white that surrounds us both. How menacing is the silence, the deep silence that whispers secrets that I do not care to hear.

I stand here impatient and waiting. My cloak is soaked, don't you see? I am shivering, don't you see? As the snow falls, it continues to layer the ground. My boots are sinking and my stockings are wet as I stand here and wait for you to do your duties.

_Stop playing…_

I keep my eye on you as my expression changes from that of annoyance to disdain. But my hands would not move to gesture my irritation and no word would leave my lips to tell you of my building anger.

Where is your taunting smirk? Your half-lidded gaze? Why do you hide your features in that mask of peace?

As the snow piles thicker and thicker around us, why do you do nothing?

_Stop…_

The cold is becoming unbearable and so is this growing dread within me. Why is it so hard for me to feel panicked in this landscape? Does the cold counter the flames of doubt continually fed by my fears? Or is it because I lost everything in a fire before and the cold can do me no harm?

How can I tell you, will you listen? Will you listen if I whisper that this much white can never suite such a black creature such as you and yet the soft snow frames you figure so perfectly? Will you laugh if I taunt you about the cleanliness or the rightness of your attire?

_Please…_

I feel the lump in my throat and the weight in my heart. Finally. Finally. And I start to look at you with a building alarm. The wind whips at me as if waking me from a pleasant nightmare. My eyes open for the first time.

I move my legs, numb from the cold, and walk to the spot beside you. My footprints easily covered by the fresh white flakes. I look at you and yet I refuse to. So peaceful you seem to be, something I could never allow just because we are what we are to each other.

_Please…_

I peel of my dark leather gloves and open my palm to the falling snow. A simple touch from my warm hand and it passes- its unique form gone from this world forever. The destructive warmth of a touch, yes, this is what I posses and must posses to live. And yet there you are as you lie never harming a single flake as they start to cover you like a cold blanket of pure white with dull grays.

Cold.

You are cold. My eyes widen as my mind accepts that fact.

Your skin is ashen. My ungloved hand forms a fist as I continue to look at it.

My breathing becomes short, shallow, labored as I continue to stand here beside you.

_Why…_

The silence tells me something I do not wish to hear.

It tells me its void of your call, of your voice.

I bow my head and close my eyes because everything felt painful and numb at the same time.

I feel the rage again boiling inside me.

The madness of it churning within the confines of my mind.

Traitor, as I have expected, you are a traitor. I was shaking as I dropped the glove I held, placing both my fisted hands at my side. My face felt the sharp sensation of the freezing wind as small droplets of hot tears started forming and falling. The trail it left on my cheek and chin warm and freezing at the same time.

There was sensation but it was empty.

"_How could you!"_

The rage gripped me and I fell to my knees.

My woolen stockings could do nothing against the cold I now knelt on. As the snow pelted me I slammed my fists on the ground as more alien tears fell from my eyes. The eye patch had fallen away sometime ago and the contract, I knew, just simply was not there.

"_How dare you drag me into this?"_

I raised my head to look at the figure that lay beside me, his face was peaceful and I wondered if that was to mock me. I moved towards him and placed my hands on his cold cheeks. I gently ran my thumb on his purplish lips as if to see if anything soft was left to him.

Never mind if he'd never been soft from the beginning, I needed to pretend just now; because that was all I had- because he was all I had. His hand brushed against my leg and I noticed it for the first time.

I was panting and my tears kept flowing.

I couldn't breathe, the air came out in small puffs of visible fog.

I was terribly cold.

Everything I am was terribly cold.

"_Sebastian!"_

I shook him by the arm.

"_Sebastian!"_

I called.

"_Wake up this is an order!"_

Over and over again, until I couldn't shout anymore for my voice was hoarse with cold and effort. Until what was left of my heart was as frozen as the hand, I held.

I was furious. I hated him so much for leaving me with nothing, for taking everything in the pretense of caring for it then casting it all away to the cold winds leaving me here distraught and alone again.

"_Is this hell, Sebastian?"_ I asked in a whisper so close I felt my own breath.

I had calmed down and the tears had frozen. I was now completely wet and shivering. I realized something and laughed.

I still kept at my laughter as I stretched myself on the deepening snow. As I'd expected I felt sleep pushing out my consciousness after a few minutes of watching the gray sky. I was so numb I could scarcely move my fingers and I could not move myself to see if they still held on to the other's gloved hand. Somehow, that did not matter as I lay there.

Nothing mattered. The unchanging sky and the white wasteland were only backgrounds to my tragedy as I closed my eyes. Unshed tears finally fell melting the snow they fell on. They were the last.

The very last.

The wind blew again

I wanted to hear him call my name but the wind howled of nothing.

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A.N.: this was written um on another late night so boo for errors but it probably has some. *checks* anyway, this is based on another song which is soundless voice (the Valshe ver. because it sounds like Ciel). So another one for the "tragedy tab"! um yey?~

To all those generous souls who reviewed, faved, alerted or just plain read my other fics bless your little hearts and thank you! I do stick to the more reviews the faster update policy so hahaha. I sincerely thank your all for your time and effort and I hope to hear more from you too!


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